a MESSAGE to ME, to YOU and to EVERYONE

TAO

Tulad ng isang ibon
Tao ay lumilipad
Pangarap ang tanging nais
Na marating at matupad

Isip ay nalilito
Pag nakakakita ng bago
Lahat ng bagay sa mundo
Ay isang malaking tukso

Bakit pa luluha
Bakit maghihirap
Ayaw mang mangyari
Ay di masasabi

Sasaktan mo lamang
Puso ay huwag sugatan
Ito'y laro lamang
Sa mundong makasalanan

Tubig ay natutuyo
Bulaklak ay nalalanta
Araw ay limilipas
Sa kadilim ang punta

Sasaktan mo lamang
Puso ay huwag sugatan
Ito'y laro lamang
Sa mundong makasalanan

Tulad ng isang ibon
Tao rin ay mamamatay
Pangarap niyang tanging nais
Makarating sa kabilang buhay

Never out of Season

"Love is a thing that is never out of season..."

friday: april 16

I woke up almost lunch time... surf on line.... drink coffee. yosi.

around 5pm i was on my Banana split creative meeting already in ELJ 1305

kevin texted me that he can't make the movie because BN was inviting him to have dinner somewhere in the fort.

9pm, an old friend texted me, inviting me to go to malate. since its still early, i went to 6diners to have my dinner... lechon kawali and sinigang soup.

11:30 i was in malate already, and my old friend pong was late... he came past 12midnight already. lucky, my ex Glenn was there with Russel. one of his fu-bo before or shall i say until now. i don`t care anyway. so they entertained me while pong still on his way. then arrived, we stayed outside Chel`u bar of course, then around 1am, we went inside the bar. I saw nanay andy, we chit chat a little, then i saw tommy, the black guy, a good friend of mine and kevin back to our malate days before.

its was so smoky night inside the bar, i decided to go out, and around 2pm i decided to go home. i took a cab, 30minutes i was home already. i sleef in the sofa bed without changing my clothes.

saturday: april 17

i went to work almost 10 for my 10am to 10pm editing schedule.

I recieved a text from kevin that we can make the movie on sunday, because saturday night he need to meet sherlo to talk some business matter. but he promised me that he can go to my place directly around 2am.

10pm, i was on my way home already. after 2 hours of surfing the net home, i decided to go down to eat dinner at Mcdonalds emerald ave. i was in the lobby of my building, when kevin`s arrived.

i gave him my little present for our monthsary last april 15. "oh its a socks, thank you..." from kevin. we talk some stuff before we fall asleep together in my place.

sunday: april 18

we walk up around 11am. he grabbed and put his clothes on. and went to his place because he`s hungry daw. of course i dont have a diet food for him, though he ate my chocolate in my fridge last night...

2pm, i went to his place with my laundry clothes. i gave his laundry and my laundry to the laundry people before i went to my 4pm pre-production meeting.

6:30pm its done already, so i was in a hurry because the movie was at 7pm.

6:58 i was in movie theater in Robinson Galleria already and kevin`s waiting for at cinema6. we went inside, and yes the clash of the titans isn't starting yet. we wore our 3D glasses, and it was amazing, its my first time to watch a 3D movie and i like it, i saw kevin`s smiling and i know he liked it too. after the movie went to do some grocery. then we went home. have a little dinner before we went to sleep together.

thank you for the movie and everything you did for me. you know how you made me happy.

i love you.

on Our 26th monthsary* (an open letter)

For my Baby,

the One I really Love:

LOVE is beautiful

because you don't need an special reason to show it,

or to feel it...

because its always the right time to express love,

and all it takes is a touch, or a glance, or a few words whispered

from the heart..

the words...

I love you... and i always will no matter what.

I want you to know how glad I am that today is our 26th monthsary. happy monthsary babyko...

much love,

James

you light up my life

I learned something today...

I really don`t want to move...

i just want to stay in the bed...

lying down...

from almost three days of sleeping. no food. no drinks. no pee pee.

I know i am exaggerating my situation.

he`s in bora. enjoying his weekend vacation with people i don`t know.

but still, i understand him. i know, this is what he want. to be by himself. to have privacy. to have my respect...

i am almost closing the curtain of my life.

half dark, half light... this is my craziness. thinking nothing. being alone in my room... shutting all the window. lying in the bed. closing my eyes... but my mind is awake. and its weak. weaker and weaker.

i tried to check my phone Sunday late afternoon. One message and one miscall from him. he broke his iphone. he bought a new phone.

and i decided to message him back... that i`m still so sick.

Kevin brought me to max`s restaurant in robinson galleria. so i can sip a soup from sinigang.

its just a plain tonsillitis, i know. the reason of my fever.

kevin bought medicines for me. then after eating, we supposed to buy halo-halo in chowking but its not available. so we ended up in robinson supermarket to buy ice cream.

we went to his place... we talk alot.

we make love.

we sleep together. naked. holding each others hand.

what can I say...

I Love you, and I always will.

peace of mind instead

puerto gallera...

hollyweek...

its true... 90% of people going there for hollyweek vacation are gays. 90% of people going there for vacation are looking for somebody to hook up. For sex...

and they are saying, there is a curse for lovers there... if you bring your lover there, you`ll go back to manila as single or in a complicated relationship, and if you go there alone or as single, you`ll go back to manila with someone, or with MU or in a relationship...

But the thing is, people really think, puerto gallera is a sin island...

People stated it might be the next Sodom and Gomorrah, that God might be rained brimstone and fire...

In my case, as a person searching for peace of mind, as a person looking God`s forgiveness for all my sins...

I think this is the right place...

I didn't planned it anyway. just my friend Aries encouraged me for the last minute to go with them last march 31 (Wednesday). and Thursday 2AM we`re headed there already with MJ and other friends... there`s a lot of people there, yes... but first night i went to sleep after dinner around 9pm. 3am i woke up with Iggy, and we talk a lot of things... about everything, about life. and a 3 years ago friend Joseph joined us. 9am we went to the beach to swim. With Iggy, Joseph and MJ. 12nn we`re in the house of Tita Dotie again to prepare lunch for the group.2pm lunch time. 4pm, Joseph Iggy and I went to the beach to buy sarong, then ate halo-halo... then we joined the group in the beach, swimming. 7pm, cook for dinner, 9pm dinner time, 10pm, we`d organized a group, from the people in our room and the people in Val`s room to do a game while drinking the bar gin. 12 midnight i went to our room to sleep... the next day i woke up, its Saturday. and the breakfast was ready... 12noon lunch time. 2pm we went to the other side of the beach... the rocky side.picture taking and swimming.

6pm we`re in the house already... 7pm dinner time. 9pm drinking in the kubo with the group... 12 midnight bar with the group. 3am hope. sleeping na...

9am woke up, breakfast. get ready to go back to manila. 2pm, in the beach already, waiting for the boat.... 330pm, we`re in the boat na going to batangas pier. past 5pm we`re in batangas pier then took a bus with aries headed to cubao.almost 9pm home na.

then babyko texted me, asked me if i want to go to his place, and i went there. and i sleep there that night.

i was so happy. i knew, he missed me.

beautiful liar

"always put yourself in others` shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, its probably hurts the other person too..."

you are what you are... i am what i am. you should tell me what you want me to do. stop judging me, you are not god.