THE BIG GAY RULES

GAY Rule No1:
Whenever you are dancing in a gay club you must mime every word to the song and physically act out the lyrics with your hands and feet. It is the law!

GAY Rule No2:
Whatever you do, you must sleep with all of your gay friends (except the ugly ones).

GAY Rule No3:
Never fall in love with your friends, as it can only lead to pain and awkwardness.

GAY Rule No4:
Openly show disdain for sex-hunting apps such as PR/Gindr, whilst secretly having it on your phone. Hypocrisy about sex is vital for a young gay man.

GAY Rule No5:
Fall into a deep and committed relationship within your first year of being an ‘out’ gay man, telling everyone with ears that he is ‘The One’, before cheating on him five weeks later because you’re ‘bored’.

GAY Rule No6:
Frantically obsess over your body image, whether this means going to the gym every day or closely monitoring your daily calorie intake. Homosexuals have absolutely no time for men who are comfortable in their own skin and it will not be tolerated.

GAY Rule No7:
Listen up boys because this rule is genuinely serious. Whatever you do or whomever you do, always get tested for STIs and HIV regularly. It’s your duty as a good gay man to ensure you are healthy and that your partner(s) also remain so.